After having children, you likely enjoyed looking at your family as yourself, your spouse and your kids. You may have gotten along as a cohesive family unit for some time, but due to one reason or another, you realized that the marital relationship was no longer working. While you may feel that divorce would be the answer to regain some level of personal happiness, you may wonder whether it would work in the best interests of the kids.
Many people contemplate the idea of remaining married for the sole purpose of allowing their children to have both parents under the same roof. However, you may not know whether that type of situation could truly benefit your kids. If you face this conundrum, you may want to ask yourself certain questions about your situation.
Questions to ask
Just as numerous factors can go into the decision to divorce, just as many -- if not more -- can go into deciding whether staying together is a feasible option. In either case, you certainly have the best interests of your kids in mind and want to make the best decision possible. As you weigh your options, you may want to consider the following aspects of your marriage:
- Parental relationship and cooperation: Even if the love no longer remains in the relationship, some parents may have the ability to agree to work together and remain together for the sake of the kids. Of course, when the animosity is too high, this option may not work.
- Abusive relationships: If your spouse abuses you or your children, you likely already know that staying together would not be in anyone's best interests. In some cases, divorce may be the only option to help protect the children.
- Resolving issues: Depending on the type of problems the marriage faces, some couples may find that with professional therapy and willingness to change, resolutions to many issues could be found, resulting in the marriage continuing. However, some issues may also prove too great to overcome.
You may want to deeply consider how these factors apply to your situation. For instance, you may feel that you and your spouse can get along most of the time, but if your children will end up exposed to fights, slammed doors and general tension in the home, it may not create the best environment.
In the end, if divorce does come out as the best option, you have many choices for child custody arrangements. Co-parenting, joint custody and sole custody could all be worth consideration, and your specific circumstances can help you determine which arrangements may suit your family's needs.